Skeletonwitch's New Album Art Will Burn Your Balls

I'm serious:


If that isn't Metal, I don't know what is

If you haven't seen Skeletonwitch live yet, you don't know what you're missing.

Breathing the Fire drops October 13 on Prosthetic.

Black Metal Cookies

Cookies have never been kvltier.

Upgrade Your Girlfriend

I won't go into the backstory on how this (joke) project got started for a second time, but it's moving along swimmingly. Currently I'm writing all the content for the site. I'm just grabbing material from my past experiences and changing names, places and events. :D

If anyone who has experience in comedic writing (or no experience at all) and would like to volunteer for the website it would be much appreciated. Suggestions will also be taken. Should I make it a one page blog? or should I make it a multi-page site. It's really a coin toss right now. For the uninitiated here's the address: www.upgradeyourgirlfriend.info

Playlist July 30th, 2009: MetalBeard's Bearded Women

It finally happened. Metal Beard has broken the rules of Metal Beard's Bearded Bands all but once or twice in it's running. To finally cover his ass, he's implemented the "Honorary Beard" Accord, which allows him to give "Honorary Beards" to awesome bands. So it is written, so it shall be done.

This week he hit us with some hot female fronted bands, I forgot to do Dio's Dirty Secrets, we made a Big Four Feud Block and played a butt-load (yes a butt-load, that's like way more than a ton) of new stuff I've been meaning to play, but always run out of time on.

Oh and the reason there's four Bigelf songs at the end, is that I let the CD run while we finished ripping cds in the air room. Oh and don't forget to check out the video for The Metal Shakespeare Company's "To Bleed or Not to Bleed."

The Sledge (Rock (Loud)) with Timothy Sledge 07.30.2009 10:30PM to 12:30AM

1. Iron Maiden "Twilight Zone" from "Killers"
2. The Metal Shakespeare Company "To Bleed or Not to Bleed" from "Hamlet III"
3. Judas Priest "Between the Hammer and the Anvil" from "Touch of Evil"
4. Ram "Sudden Impact" from "Heavy Metal Killers"
5. Steel Panther "Turn Out The Lights" from "Death To All But Metal"
6. Kylesa "Only One" from "Static Tensions" -- MetalBeard's Bearded Bands
7. Made Out of Babies "Silverback" from "Coward" -- MetalBeard's Bearded Bands
8. Lundicra "In The Greenest Maze" from "Another Great Love Song" -- MetalBeard's Bearded Bands
9. Voetsek "The Blueprint For The Perfect Circle Pit" from "Infernal Command" -- MetalBeard's Bearded Bands
10. Light This City "Obituary" from "Remains of the Gods" -- MetalBeard's Bearded Bands
11. Megadeth "Devil's Island" from "Rust in Peace" -- Big Four Block
12. Metallica "Creeping Death" from "Ride the Lightning" -- Big Four Block
13. Anthrax "Subjugator" from "Fistful of Metal" -- Big Four Block
14. Slayer "Raining Blood" from "Reign in Blood" -- Big Four Block
15. Gojira "Toxic Garbage Island" from "The Way of All Flesh"
16. Ex Deo "Storm the Gates of Alesia" from "Romulus"
17. Suidakra "Shattering Swords" from "Crógacht"
18. Isis "Hall of the Dead" from "Wavering Radiant"
19. Hull "IV: Healer" from "Sole Lord"
20. Children "Advanced Mind Control" from "Hard Times Hanging At The End of The World"
21. Bigelf "The Evils of Rock n Roll" from "Cheat The Gallows"
22. Bigelf "No Parachute" from "Cheat The Gallows"
23. Bigelf "The Game" from "Cheat The Gallows"
24. Bigelf "Superstar" from "Cheat The Gallows"

The Real Santa Cruz

If you've ever wondered what it's like living in Santa Cruz, wonder no more! This video of a Santa Cruz City Council meeting truly captures the Santa Cruz experience.

ATTN: IF YOU ARE IN TURKEY, DON'T THROW THE HORNS!!!

Metal Insider has reported that five metal fans who were in Turkey to attend the "Rock N’ Coke Festival" were detained for throwing the horns to fellow Metallions. Apparently this is on orders from the Prime Minister, citing that the horns lead to "endless uncontrolled moral erosion." Check out the full article HERE.

Tonight on The Sledge... Get Dirty?

Tune into The Sledge tonight for a fiery fury of face melting heavy metal! We'll be featuring Metal Beard's Bearded Bands (Mx3B). I hear he may be doing a comic book themed setlist. There's a chance that my good friend Dirty Mac will be joining us. If that happens Ronnie James Dio will make an appearance to dish out some of his saucy secrets.

Tune into 88.1FM at 10:30 or click here to listen in!

UPDATE: Dirty Mac will not be joining us tonight as his travel plans could not get him here in time.

Some Juicy Big Four Clusterfuck

And you thought this summer's band feuds were getting boring. This is a classic he said she said. Head over to Metalsucks.net for the full story.

I have a new joke website coming...

Ok, so basically Metalbeard, "Sophire" and I were hanging out, joking around. I really don't remember how this came about, but in the end I bought for $1.07 the webdomain "UpgradeYourGirlfriend.info". Now that I've bought it, I might as well develop it, right? I'm in the process of doing that, but if anyone would like to host it on their webserver or donate money to buy legitimate hosting (right now it's on godaddy.com's free hosting) <===crappy, ads and stuff. Also, if a professional web developer would like to help out, let me know. You can reach me at "sledgemetalkzsc [at] gmail [dot] com.

Upgrade Your Girlfriend in five months or less!

What's Metal About Shakespeare? The Metal Shakespear Company

Ok, so these guys look like a bunch of theater geeks that got together and decided to write heavy metal inspired by Shakespeare. They dress up in Renaissance style garb and tights. For how lame they look, this song "To Bleed or Not to Bleed" has grown on me. You'll definitely be hearing this on The Sledge tonight. Sadly, I missed these guys coming to Berkley and San Fransisco be a couple of days. DAMN!

P.S. - Nike hightops are essential for any Renaissance outfit.